bitterlawngnome: OK. I identify with bears as much as wit

Bill (

bitterlawngnome) wrote,
@ 2008-05-07 10:28:00

OK. I identify with bears as much as with any other group.

But.

I am so very, very, very sick of being dicked over in the name of The Community. Yet. Again. Time and money and work down the toilet, and all sorts of Drama and Behaviour. I certainly understand the urge to flounce. So I am not inclined to condemn people either for "staying" or for "leaving", if those terms even mean anything in this context. But I am daily less inclined to put any resources into anything just because it's bear-themed.

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	Does this mean that you're post-post-post-bear? brunorepublic 2008-05-07 02:39 pm UTC (link)
	Hoo boy. Sorry to hear that. I gather you do not wish to provide any further details? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: Does this mean that you're post-post-post-bear? bitterlawngnome 2008-05-07 02:54 pm UTC (link)
	It's cumulative, so no one thing. Not poster-bear. Retro-bear. (Reply to this)(Parent)

rzrxtion
2008-05-07 02:50 pm UTC (link)

at risk of a potential flaming (therefore i'm donning my asbestos firesuit right now) i find it interesting when "bears" talk about how they're judged for being who they are (i.e. being larger, hairier, what have you) and then turn around and judge someone for who THEY are (they're not big enough / hairy enough / muscular enough / masculine enough). Or even better, person X is a drama queen, meanwhile the "bear" saying this has more issues than time magazine.

what's that phrase about doth protesting too much?

(and yes, i know not EVERYONE is like that)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

bitterlawngnome
2008-05-07 02:59 pm UTC (link)

Well merely making a post like this qualifies me for the Drama award. So yeah there you go.

But I was thinking about this in a larger context the other day - when the powerless gain power, there is the almost-irresistible urge to be sadistic. I was thinking about it in a sexual context, but I think it applies to social interactions in general. Being oppressed does not teach you humility, it teaches hatred; which for me is as good a reason as any to oppose discrimination etc, any systematic discim is creating a class of people schooled in how to oppress.

	cubmike74 2008-05-07 02:58 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know if this is relevant, but this is my 2 cents: I find that sometimes bear groups try to be more than they are. Its a social group, it's about fun, it's about being ourselves and celebrating that. It's not about politics, not about our whole lives, not about exclusivity. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	thornyc 2008-05-07 03:22 pm UTC (link)
	Is the relationship to being dicked around incidental to bears, or specific? Would the same be likely of other groups/subcultures? (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	four_miles 2008-05-07 04:16 pm UTC (link)
	be careful you might get 86'd from the cheer squad. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	lvmybehrs 2008-05-07 04:58 pm UTC (link)
	I for the most part always feel like an out-sider. It just is...the sad part its what I am attracted to. Sometimes the community can be flaky, inconsiderate and not very accepting. Fortunately not all. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	chefxh 2008-05-07 05:24 pm UTC (link)
	all in all, the bear "community" is enough to make me wish I were a twink. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	nfotxn 2008-05-07 05:41 pm UTC (link)
	I eat the free food and go to the parties. But my pro bono efforts always better spent elsewhere for the cited reasons. I consider myself more of a bear patron than bear community creator. And I like it that way. (Reply to this)

	low_fat_muffin 2008-05-07 06:07 pm UTC (link)
	this conversation is remarkable to read through......., (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	jawnbc 2008-05-07 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	You're not a bear. You're an emu. And we emu's gotta stick together or those hegemonic bear Nazis's will run us out of town (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	snousle 2008-05-07 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	I think it would be a good thing to give some specific examples of what you're talking about. I think I could learn from them, anyway. I don't care about naming names, it's more about learning to contribute effectively and avoiding being dicked around like you describe. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	pulsecub 2008-05-07 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	Huh, huh, huh? What, what, what???? (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	moved 2008-05-07 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	Never have been. Never will. Has to be something in my best interest or in the interests of something I think is important otherwise it'll have to take more than a hairy homo to get me to pitch in. (Reply to this)

	gmjambear 2008-05-07 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry to hear about that. I'll always wonder why some individuals think that they speak for the community when perhaps they speak for themselves. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	ranger1 2008-05-08 05:27 am UTC (link)
	In my world it doesn't exist anymore. And I don't miss it. (Reply to this)

	ink_ling 2008-05-08 03:09 pm UTC (link)
	Can I have pho, too? God, I miss that stuff here! (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)